Stories of Hope

Marsha Gilleran, New York Diagnosed in 1998 in her 40s Bronchoalveolar nonsmall cell lung cancer “Some of the choices that demanded I be an active partner in my medical care included researching the disease and the prospective doctors, and asking the hard questions of them...”

June 15, 2001 Update:

Today I had my quarterly check-up with my thoracic medical oncologist at Memorial Sloan-Kettering. It's now over a year since my second lobectomy. I still have lots of very small nodules in both lungs but it's still "watchful waiting" for me at this point.

In the meantime I continue working full-time, as I always have. Some people at work know I have cancer. Most do not.

Many women ask me how I stay in such great shape. Well, I continue to do my exercise every morning which consists of weight training and aerobics, which I do at home for about 45 minutes and then I walk (25 minutes) to work. In the evening before I make dinner, I do 30 minutes of meditation/visualization to de-stress from the day and to visualize my cancer as going away. And I eat healthy food, not junk food.

And just as importantly I try always to keep a positive "can do" attitude. Thoughts affect the body and I want to send my body all the good loving thoughts I can. I also feel great that I've made the commitment to take care of myself and keep myself strong. As Denise Austin, a wonderfully motivating TV exercise guru for the over-40 set says, "Strong body, strong mind. Because you are worth it." I believe it. I think it's a great motto. And, by the way, when I was recovering from each operation I watched her morning program, even though I couldn't participate in the exercises for eight weeks, because she's such a good motivator.

Marsha's story:

"You're very young to have lung cancer. It usually doesn't strike someone in their 40s!"

Diagnosed in 1998 with bronchoalveolar nonsmall cell lung cancer (BAC), I had my first lobectomy that April. In January 1999, a nodule on my left lung grew, along with a "satellite" tumor. May 2000 saw my second lobectomy.

Operations were the easy part--painful but easy. The toughest challenge was picking a surgeon, an oncologist, and treatment.

Some of the choices that demanded that I be an active partner in my medical care included researching the disease and the prospective doctors, and asking the hard questions of them before making a well-informed decision. After my second lobectomy my oncologist gave me his opinion. Again, before making a decision on my next steps, I consulted three other oncologists. Their opinions ranged from, "You're Stage IV" to "You're Stage I. It's a second primary."

I did not rush my decision, but once it was made I knew my most difficult moment had become my most cherished accomplishment.

I now have multiple nodules in both lungs. We are in a watchful waiting mode. Another decision awaits me.

In a way cancer has been a blessing. I now cherish those dear to me more than I might have otherwise. I embrace every day for the miracle it is. That is surely a change for the better. Mario, my partner in life's adventures, has been more than the rock of Gibraltar through all the trials and tribulations. We no longer put anything off. Trips that once were postponed to the future are now part of our now. We celebrate us and we celebrate the now of life. And that's one heaven of a blessing!

Here are excerpts from notes I shared with my surgeon:

You took time to educate us, to answer our questions so that we could make an informed decision. And you cared about the patient as a person, not just as the next surgical procedure on your calendar. You treated the patient and the patient's caregiver, not just the disease. We both felt good after having spoken to you. We felt that I had been treated well, as a partner in my own healthcare.

The other factor in this is how the emotional life and spiritual life change for the patient and the patient's loved ones. The blessing part of this is when you make up your mind to fight the good fight and win. Win on a day-to-day basis. Embrace the philosophy to be here now. Don't put anything off. Whatever you do it is you, the individual, who does win in the end, if you have the right attitude, discipline and strength of character with a large dose of Divine Grace added in! And plan for the inevitable journey Home. Agree to talk about it when that chapter comes and in the meantime, just live your life and, if you can, be of service to those who may find themselves in the same or similar circumstance.

I sometimes think after all the searches Mario & I have been through that I'm not the only one who is using my best guess to decide upon a course of treatment. I think that oncology is a lot of educated guesswork for the oncologists, pathologists & radiologists. Hopefully, the more clinical research that is done, the more hard facts will come out of it and the more uniform an approach will be presented to a patient for any one particular kind of cancer.